Thursday, October 7, 2010

Self laddering technique.

A friend once asked me, "If I find myself lonely and single, will I lose my mind and become a psychopath?" I replied to her, "Absolutely not." Because I felt there is so much to life than to just feel lonely.

But, reality is so different. When that same friend put me aside, the feeling is awful. I felt abandoned.

Was I being used? The first question to enter my head.
Did I do something wrong? The second question to enter my head.
Can I rectify it? The third question to enter my head.

For the first 2, I can't affirm the answer. But for the final, the answer is clear. There is nothing I can do about it. This leads to another question.

How can I stop thinking about it?

The conclusion is, I can't. The only thing I can ask is, "What have I learnt from that friendship?"

I learned to be more sensitive to others. I learned to be more self confident when dealing with people. And for writing this, I learned to be more self forgiving. That being oversensitive, is not a flaw, but a gift given by God. For it increased my capacity to love others. I learned that I have to stop hurting myself if I want to be happy.

To that friend, she will not be my friend, but she will not be my enemy. I am not obliged to help her, but I have no reason to hate her either.

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