Vexed

I am vexed, simply because I am struck with nostalgia. Nostalgia about the past. I will write my feelings here, to get it off my chest. I have finally come to the conclusion that you can't forget the things that happened in the past. In fact, I had a talk with an old pal of mine, and he said, You don't regret about mistakes, you learn from them. You only regret about things that you have never done.

I am trying my best not to look back, but just earlier, I faltered. I actually toyed with the idea of asking about another person through a mutual friend. Thank goodness that friend gave me a reality check. What's lost in reality, remains totally lost. It's often the things that remains in fantasy that gives a glimmer of hope. And expectations, is just a hole in a ground. Habouring it, is like trying to tunnel your way out of the hole, when in reality, all you needed to do, is to jump out of it. By staying tunneling deeper and deeper, you lost your directions, you lost the light on the surface, and you can only hope that the tunnel will resurface one day.

Well, as I have mentioned, there is no point wishing to forget, for the harder you try to forget, the more painful it is going to be. I acknowledge its existance, and it is something that i can't run away from because, it is just me. That emotion is just a very part of me that will never vanish by force.

I am me， I had always been. I just refused to accept myself.