God, I present you my heart

“Stop dwelling on past events and brooding over times gone by;” Isa 43:18

God, with this line, I surrender to you my emotions. Whatever longings and desire that I once had, God, safeguard it till I need it once again. Let your will be done, but as of now, keep me in your word. God, I feel that I have no reason to torture myself anymore. If I had to be judged, I will only be answerable to you and to myself and not to the words of men.

For too long I have abandoned my inner peace through you via my selfish desires, for too long I have been brooding over past regrets that has no relevance to my future. God, I am tired. I am tired of the constant lows that I have to feel. My goal now is for me to live a life of happiness.

I once asked my friend, "Has life as a christian made your life any better? Has it made your life easier?"He told me, no life didn't become easier. But life became better. Because it was through the hard times in life, that he appreciates what God has done for him, that God has allowed him to grow. God, despite being a Christian for 20 over years of my life, I still feel like an infant. Being emotionally carried away with a quest to find a sense of belonging. Perhaps,through these years of my life, I have been looking at the wrong direction.

God, I surrender my emotions to you once again. Keep me objective, not subjective, keep me wholesome without the instant sugar high that the world is offering me.

Amen