Life's little lessons 3

Regrets. I always lived with them, I have always felt the pangs of pain in my heart. Even now, I am feeling the pain of it. It's a word that always starts a sentence with if. But there are really not that many ifs in this world. The fact is the world still moves on no matter how much you look back at it. You will end up in the losing end ultimately. Still, it bothers me quite substantially. But its still a long road on.

With regrets, comes self pity. I have potentially lost 2 friends through my behaviour. Its only when reality strikes that you realise that you are trying to make the world revolve around you. But the fact is that, you are just moving linearly with time and everyone can see you as the abnormality.

I wish I can reconcile with these friends. But humans being human, it is unlikely you will get a second chance. Which brings me to the second point, don't try to force your presence into another person's life. Do it slowly. And if you find that you can't enter their lives, walk away, give them some space. Finally, stop blaming yourself. We all learn from our mistakes. Move on and do not let that emotion get the better of you.

My last point, in the event that you can't convince a friend, then move on from her. No point regarding a person as a friend who has no regards for you. Friendship is a win-win situation. Both parties are supposed to benefit from it. But if the friendship has degraded to the point where it is no longer transparent, and that you are treated transparently, then there is no point feeling hurt about it. Trust and communication is critical, without it, it is no longer a friendship. But of course don't dismiss every cold shoulder as an end game, there is always a reason for that cold shoulder. Most importantly, ask and see if you can resolve it. Don't let it drag on for too long.

I don't have a lot of friends, so those who I really cherish means a lot to me. But, sometimes, a hard decision might have to be made.

Life's little lesson 2

Sometimes your emotions can be your greatest enemy. In the process of worrying and feeling sorry for myself, I have possibly lost quite a number of friends. But there is not much point in agonizing over it. What's done is done, feeling sorry for yourself takes you nowhere.

Clear up the mess if you can. If you managed to resolve the situation, congratulations. You won back a friend. If you didn't, its alright, take it as a lesson learnt. Control your feelings from now on. But never put yourself down, you will only bring further grief to yourself. Be happy and let it radiate from yourself. Once you are happy, others will notice. Do not live in the past, live for the present and the future. Regrets are acceptable, for its only through disappointments that you learn.

Life's little lessons

Its months since I have written anything here. The past 9 months had been an emotional roller coaster for me. Personally, I think I did not handle myself well. But I think I have learnt countless little lessons during this period, the most important of which, was positive thinking.
To those who know me, I don't reveal my emotions out publicly except to the few I trust. But I feel that you guys deserve a word of thanks from me. So if you find yourself being referenced inside the text that follows, please accept it as a word of thanks.

There were times I had been wondering, why is it I am always unhappy.
There were times I would have been lying on my bed, wishing that God would remove the painful emotions from my heart.
But it was through these times learned that what I have been missing out is not the lack of positive emotions, but rather I chose not to understand what I have in abundance.

I learned that it is through sadness, that I appreciated the value of being happy.
I realised that it is through failing in love, that you learn that you have the capacity to love.
I realise that it is through the lack of appreciation, that you learn ambition.
I realise that it is through falling down, that you learn to get up.
I realise that it is through disappointment, that you learn to have hope.
I realise that it is through the lack of communication, that you learn to communicate
I realise that it is through a frown, that you will appreciate a smile.
I realise that it is through bitterness that you appreciate appeasement.

Most importantly, a smile can kill a tear, a positive thought can over shadow a negative one.
If I had to choose to be happy or sad over a matter, be happy because it feels so much better.
If you put on a bitter mask, nobody will come to you.
If you choose to wallow in self pity, nobody will pity you.
Things like these were taught by 2 friends of mine over the past 9 months. I believe I grew up a lot through them.

Of course there were several friends and family members who had contributed to this simple recipe to a positive life.

I will keep smiling, no matter how broken I feel. It just feels so much easier. So to those who have endured my whining, thank you for listening. For those who have left because of my whining, I am sorry. For friends who have walked away from me, come back, return. I am sorry.